Oh, the holidays… a time for all the emotions. The highs and the lows. Immense joy and great loneliness. Uncontrollable laughter and tears.  
The holidays are also a time filled with pressure from family, friends, and society.  Triggering questions from others.  

When was the last time someone asked you a question, and you did not know how to answer it?

How’s work? Are you still single? When are you getting married? When are you having kids? Why don’t you have kids? Are you pregnant yet? Have you lost weight? How’s your health? 

When will we learn how to engage in appropriate conversation with our loved ones? 

The National Alliance on Mental Health reports that 64% of people with mental illness say that their symptoms increase during the holidays.  According to the American Psychological Association, 38% of people report that their stress levels increase over the holiday season. 

This raises some significant concerns. If stress increases and mental health issues exacerbate, how is our society impacted by the pressure of the holiday season? 

This means that the joyful time of the holidays may not actually be that joyful.  

In fact, how you finish one year plays a huge part in how you begin the next one. 

So, if increased stress and mental health issues are the norms for this time of the year, how can we expect to enter into the new year on the right foot? 

We must take a step back from the chaos, the pressure, and the expectations to figure out what is important. 

How do you choose to prioritize yourself this holiday season? 

How do you take care of your mental health during the holidays? 

1. Be Mindful of Your Physical Health

The holidays are a special time often surrounded by loved ones and large meals. With all the snacks, drinks, and traditional foods during the holiday season, it is easy to over-indulge. 

• Listen to your body. Eat until you are full. Fill up your plate with a little bit of everything, but remember that you do not have to make a “happy plate” every time (Even if grandma tells you so)

• Limit your alcohol intake. 

• Stay active. Go for a walk with your cousin whom you haven’t seen in a while or offer to take the baby for a stroll around the neighborhood.

And if you feel that you have indulged a little too much, remember that the choices you make from Christmas to New years are not as important as the choices you make from the New Year to Christmas. Give yourself grace. 

2. Set Healthy Boundaries

Boundaries are important in many areas of life but can be especially critical during the holidays. Boundaries are simply a limit set – with clear definitions – that defines where one thing ends and another begins. 

Think about it, your skin is a boundary that defines where you begin and end. Property lines define where your property begins and ends. And boundaries during the holidays define where you will be and not be, and how you will act and not act.

Begin to set boundaries by identifying triggers to your stress.  Does gift-giving cause you stress? Does the financial pressure make you feel overwhelmed? Do the questions from Aunt Betty make you feel uncomfortable?

Once you have identified your triggers, set clear boundaries around that specific trigger. 

Example Boundaries:

• I will get presents for my immediate family but will not feel obligated to get my extended family gifts.

• If a family member asks an inappropriate question, I will politely say, “I will not be engaging in that conversation.”

• I will only get on social media for one hour a day to eliminate the stress I feel from comparing my holidays to others.

3. Plan ahead

Decide ahead of time what events you will attend and which you will miss. You can skip some single holiday events or community activities. Putting pressure on yourself to “do it all” can lead to burnout, fatigue, and frustration.  

When you are at an event or activity, decide ahead of time how long will you stay.  Even if the party lasts well into the night, but you know you have a busy day the next day - set boundaries for yourself and stick to them. 

4. Practice gratitude 

The research on positive psychology clearly shows the benefits of practicing gratitude.  And the holidays provide a perfect time to begin implementing steps to incorporate gratitude into your daily life. 

WellPsyche reported that activities such as starting a gratitude journal, thinking about your blessings, or telling a loved one thank you can significantly increase mood, life satisfaction, and even improve heart health. 

Start small. Begin each day with an acknowledgment of the blessings that you have – a bed, a roof over your head, health, supportive relationships, whatever it may be. And watch as it becomes easier for you to recognize the goodness that is already present in your life. 

5. Allow Space for Grief

Recognize that if you have experienced loss, the holidays might be a delicate time. Even if you feel that you have processed grief, the holidays may bring up thoughts and emotions that you thought you “were over”. Give yourself the space to feel the wave of emotions that comes as you contemplate the losses that you have experienced. 

A fundamental truth that stands out throughout the holidays is the balance between two opposites – joy and sorrow. Hold onto the fact that they can co-exist. In one moment, you may feel immense joy and then be in tears the next.  Do not judge your emotions, allow the moment to pass, and give yourself room to breathe.

The holidays do not have to be a time of stress and pressure. Life is hard enough. 

Let’s use this time to focus on your health, spend quality time with your loved ones, practice gratitude, and heal – setting yourself up for success and growth in the New Year and the days ahead.